Jason X | Review

Kevin Bacon this is a bad movie.

Back in my yester year, there was a series of horror films with some dude in a hockey mask and a lake full of semi-nude drunken teenagers called Friday the 13th. I would relive the fears associated to this pissed-off masked man every Halloween and every time the calendar proposed another Friday the 13th. More than two decades later, there is another boogie man from the woods in the form of The Blair Witch Project, and then a huge vague of teenage horror films followed this lead. Some cash hungry investors with no bright ideas thought that it was time for another installment and Jason X was born. They were talking about making a Freddy Vs. Jason film, a horror film fanatic’s wet-dream, not my cup of tea, but at least they are onto something- bring in two monsters from the past for the old question and the ultimate showdown of who would kill who? So we are left with the next thing, bring the dude with the mask up into space.

Set in sci-fi setting of a film like Cube, a bunch of hormonal teenage kids fly around in spacecrafts and have no idea what bikes are. With a cast of horrible actors, the most atrocious dialogue and the most ridiculous of storylines you’ll find yourself being one of the victims of the most pathetic of films.

Of course before seating down and actually watching the film, you get the sense that it will pretty much be a lesson on how not to make a film, but not even the cameo of David Cronenberg can spare this movie from being the disaster that it is- there are quite simply not enough words in the English language to describe how bad this film is. If a storyline is what they needed all they could have done was look into the origins of poor Jason, perhaps his macabre childhood existence and why he became the lake serial killer that he did, I’m sure they could have revived the franchise for another generation of horror film fans, but instead it falls into the laugh fest category of pure stupidity. To be avoided at all costs.

Rating 0 stars