Superman Returns | Review

Man of Steel gets face lift, but top-notch director fails to bring along modern-day rigor and an original storyline.

The “faster than a speeding bullet” character has not aged well and moreover neither has his alter ego Clark Kent. After a dozen or so comic book character movies in the past couple of years, one would hope that there is more at stake here for this geek genre than just remaining faithful to the original storylines. Faithful to legions of fans and to the former 4-part film series that began with Richard Donner’s mainstay, Bryan Singer’s Superman Returns may have a fountain of youth in actors Brandon Routh and Kate Bosworth, a big studio seeking long-term profits and supreme CGI effects on his side, but unlike the complex universe found in the X-Men franchise, this one’s off to a nose dive start.

Though it may be alluded to in a pointless television screen montage showing devastation and misery, you won’t find global warming, Calcutta living conditions, Enron scandals, civil wars or famine preoccupying this hero, instead Supes’ spiritual journey back to his foster planet is all about repairing his ambiguous relationship with Lois. Scribes duo Michael Dougherty and Dan Harris insert a love triangle (funny watching the actor who played Cyclops from X-Men among the mix), this notion of a possible new generation of red cape and blue tights which need not be highlighted at every turn (the asthma inhaler is enough for even non-fans to understand) and a hostile real-estate take-over Donald Trump style from nemesis Lex Luthor (The Usual Suspects-alumni Kevin Spacey). The foes are comically written and the dialogue remains one-note remarks – great fun for the chewable vitamin-eating PG-rated crowds. After watching the Spiderman franchise handle the lovey-dovey parts with sheer likeability, this lame Lois and Clark charades such as the hospital bed room visit where we get the head up without the glasses is insulting to the enthusiast who actually pencils in this film’s release date on a calendar. The NYC that would have been great to see is the one that doesn’t survive what on the surface looks to be a trillion dollar structural damage and the Superman that would have been gladly appreciated would be one that is less of a wuss. Instead of a little salt water in his lungs and a compassionate superhero, it would have been interesting to witness a bloodied-up, binge-drinking, emotionally bruised man in tights.

Like Singer’s other films, credits go to a fine casting job, they certainly look the part but the CGI ultimately has more to say about the direction of the film than any of the characters do. The imagery is easy to marvel at with the 30,000 feet in the sky theatrics, but watching Chris Reeve and Margot Kidder in crappy 78’ effects was much more interesting to watch (perhaps its just the nostalgia talking). A much maligned 2 and ½ plus hours later the film feels weighted down, a much anticipated Marlon Brando sequence fails to live up to aspirations, even the opening credits lack that arm goose-bumps on the arm appeal that the Donner film seems to offer up every time one haphardly catches the film on late night cable.

The only interesting non-subliminal elements of amusement are found in the religious overtones. The God-like “I’m always around” suggestion and the floating around the earth in a Jesus-Christ pose will make for plenty of fun in message board discussions. Besides a great marketing campaign and future X-Mas stocking stuffer surprises, Superman Returns’ lack of originality, absence of plot twists and momentum-deficiency only demonstrates one can always cut a CGI sequence out and put more development money into the script. Warner Bros. have themselves another money-making venture, but after this screenplay what lies ahead is parenting skills and adultery? This one is a complete miss by biblical proportions.

Rating 1 stars