All New Superfriends Hour Season 1, volume 1 | DVD Review

SHOW REVIEW
Dedicated to truth, justice, and poor production values, this incarnation of The Super Friends animated TV series starred none other than Superman, Batman & Robin, Wonder Woman, and Aquaman, not to mention the featured debut of the cult classic shape-shifting Vulcan-like brother and sister team the Wonder Twins, Zan and Jayna, and their comic relief space monkey Gleek. Hailing from the planet Exxor, sister Jayna could transform into any animal, while brother Zan could transform into any water-based substance, and they did so by knocking fists and shouting “Wonder Twin Powers, Activate!” This hour of entertainment did not however pit our favorite super heroes against the fan-favorite super villain group known as The Legion of Doom, which garnered the likes of Lex Luthor, The Riddler and Sinestro among many others, but rather against mad scientists, monsters, and dull writing.

As I pop in this DVD, I shudder to think at how much time it will take for it to bore me to tears. Normally the only good thing about classic cartoons is the nostalgia factor, but even that runs out of steam about 9 seconds into the beginning. Without asking too much of myself I chose to play only one specific episode instead of selecting to “play all”, and when the theme music started the memories came rushing through my mind and I was transported back 25 years! Memories of myself as a wee lad, waking up at the crack of dawn and running down to the basement with my bowl of Count Choculas, over-zealous with excitement at the thought of seeing my favorite super heroes in action! Music kicks in as they stand together, pretty maids all in a row: Batman & Robin, Superman, Wonder Woman, and Aquaman. What was awesome in the opening credits was that Batman and Aquaman could fly! Yeah! Take that, rationalism! But as soon as the narrator’s voice kicked in, informing me of the oncoming electrifying adventure, the only thing I remember next is waking up in a pool of barbecue-flavored drool and the DVD back on the main menu screen. OK, let’s give this another shot…

THE MONSTER OF DR. DROID:
The 1st segment typically stars two of the main Super Friends, in this case Superman and Wonder Woman team up to stop a mad scientist with mixed intentions (sounds more elaborate than it actually is). Expulsed from the science institute for unethical experiments, Dr. Frankenstein and Igor Dr. Droid and Boris casually hang out at their over-sized poorly lit-yet-rogue lightning-filled lab, trying to better the human race by implementing the brain waves of a white mouse into an android robot which will benefit mankind in some fashion or another (apparently man will no longer have to work or think, which sounds to me like they’re setting up humans to become these androids’ pet slaves), we’re not entirely disclosed on the “why’s” and “what’s”, but we all know that the road to hell is paved with good intentions, a road this monster violently creates as he takes a page out of Mary Shelley’s novel and storms out of their cemetery lab in a blind rage, probably looking for some aged cheddar. That, my friends, is one cheesed-off mouse. Now why would a creepy-looking scientist with nothing but the best intentions choose a cemetery as his secret lab? Were there no vacant warehouses or underwater headquarters on the real estate market? For a character we’re supposed to sympathize with, I’m ready to form a mob and torch this guy to the ground.

While probably still rummaging for cheese, the android monster rampages through Wheatville, a town unlucky enough to be plagued by eternal fog. Superman and Wonder Woman arrive at the scene where the gentle giant manages to capture Wonder Woman and bring her back to the cemetery lab, ripping scenes right out of the Creature From The Black Lagoon. Superman is in hot pursuit as Dr. Droid prepares to input Wonder Woman’s vastly superior intelligence into the android’s brain, probably hoping to sustain his hunger for fine gorgonzola. Our heroes end up chasing the monster up a mountain, where it falls to its death in good ol’ King Kong fashion. This segment was a great little throwback to the classic Universal monster movies, going so far as fashioning Dr. Droid after Boris Karloff, and naming his lab assistant Boris.

VANDALS:
The 2nd segment usually stars the Wonder Twins, where they foil an attempt by vandals to damage their school by teraing up a few papers and knocking over some trash cans. The vandals get a taste of their own medicine as they try to escape the Wonder Twins by jumping inside a broken elevator, one whose cables are about to snap! Egads! In a case where most people in their right minds would turn a blind eye to idiots with complete disregard for public property, the Wonder Twins jump into action and save the miscreants who later learn the error of their ways and have to repay thousands of dollars of property damage by scrubbing toilets with toothbrushes for the rest of their adult lives.

SUPER-FRIENDS vs. SUPER-FRIENDS
The 3rd segment generally stars the whole cast of Super Friends, and was the longest of the 4 segments. I would be lying to you if I said I didn’t specifically choose to review this episode, give me any story that pits heroes against themselves and I’m strapped in for the ride. Some fish-like cherubs are eavesdropping on some Navy fleet being attacked by a giant octopus, so naturally the Navy calls the Super-Friends for help, (because anyone in the free world with high enough clearance to clean a high school’s bathroom can reach our heroes at the drop of a hat, and apparently that’s what they’re sitting around waiting for). Aquaman quickly steps in and offers to take care of this problem himself, because after all he is the King of The Seven Seas. But when he gets there he actually engages the giant octopus in battle and telepathically calls other undersea creatures to help him! Is this some kind of rogue octopus immune to Aquaman’s commands? Can’t he just tell him: “Uh, listen, Squiddly Diddly, this is seriously uncool man. Why are you acting this way? Is Chief Winchley keeping you trapped in Bubbleland again, away from all your show business dreams? Are Atom Ant and Secret Squirrel not keeping their end of the bargain by giving you the top billing they promised? You’re making me look bad so just cool your jets, alright?” that’s the conversation I envisioned in my head anyways…

Anyhoot, these fish-head cherubs who were still roaming around manage to capture ol’ goldy locks and bring him back to their secret realm of Oceana, a mysterious undersea mountain hidden even from the King himself! While trying to help the others find their fallen friend, The Wonder Twins fall prey to the undersea cherubs themselves, eventually dooming the others along with them. These cherub-like sea monkeys oppose these poor heroes against themselves in good old-fashioned gladiator-style entertainment in their coliseum, because evidently no one had their cable hooked up down there yet. Our heroes manage to regain control of their wits and only pretend to do battle so they can fool the creepy cherubs and search for the Wonder Twins. Since it was decreed by the main cherub with the pointy hat, there must only be one victor, and Aquaman again offers himself to be the ultimate winner, inflating his self-image in front of thousands of cheering cherub sea monkeys. Long story short, our heroes save the Twins who seem to be more trouble than they’re worth, and the disappointment of a battle royale amongst the gang ends abruptly. I whole-heartedly expected a real fight between these guys, whether it was against their will or not (meaning some kind of misunderstanding that results in shaking hands after a few punches were exchanged) but not a half-ass play they put on to fool a bunch of lanky green monsters wearing Speedos and puckered lips that gives them a constant “I just sucked on a bag of lemons” look.

ENERGY MASS:
The 4th and final segment paves the way for super hero guest stars, and focuses on stories which showcase the guest star’s special powers, and for this one we are treated to the unique talents of one Ray Palmer, AKA The Atom. Japanese scientists stand idly by as an energy mass in their lab grows at a formidable rate and breaks loose from its test tube onto the unsuspecting masses! It acts as an intelligent sentient being seemingly capable of opening doors and making prank phone calls. Batman, Robin and special guest-star The Atom swing into action and save Japan from certain destruction as the energy mass takes over the controls of a bullet train, assuming it was probably racing home to catch the last few minutes of Takeshi’s Castle. Our heroes stop the train and save the day, but they lose points for brining the energy mass back to those neglectful scientists who waste no time in confusing it for a glass of pulpy orange juice. There’s really no need explaining why having the Atom in this episode to save the day would have been any different than any other hero. Snagglepuss could have done the same job, but probably in a more effeminate and hilarious fashion.

Peppered throughout between each segment are different learning sections on various subjects, such as Safety Lessons where Batman & Robin teach you not to overload your circuits with too many plugs or you’ll cause a fire and kill your whole family, you ungrateful bastard. A pre-9-1-1 phone service shows Wonder Woman berating some kid for not having a list of emergency numbers beside the phone. Play it safe! A De-Coder section has Aquaman giving you the vaguest clues on how to figure out the word of the day, and finally a CRAFT section where Superman slums it up on the beach and shows you how to loot stolen treasure while making a useless old sea telescope out of twine and barley. Enjoy!


The transfer of sound and image to disc is more than acceptable, I even prefer having a little of the original poor quality value which seems to reel you in a little bit more into those old TV set fun-filled memories. The packaging isn’t mind-blowing but it’s crisp and clean, it evokes a nostalgic sensibility while trying to stay somewhat hip for a possible new audience under 25 years of age. Although another blow to the heart for poor Aquaman who didn’t make the cut among the group shot. Did you know the poor guy existed for almost 20 years in the printed page before making his first appearance on a comic book cover? If that’s not a kick in the teeth, I don’t know what is.

ONE DIMENSIONAL GOODNESS
Great little doc on why The Super Friends and Saturday morning cartoons were so watered down for the Nixon-filled controversial era which was the 1970s. Animation historian Jerry Beck says it best: “I think what was going on on Saturday morning TV really had no reflection on what was going on in the rest of the world.”
If you haven’t watched the episode before this doc, you get a glimpse at pre-GI Joe PSAs about taking candy from strangers and forest fires, given by your favorite heroes from the show who pretty much represented your parents in silly costumes.

There’s a also a past-to-present day comparison of the many versions of Batman, from the original gritty and dirty version (sometimes homicidal) of the 1930s, to the happy-go-lucky version of the character in the 1960’s, up until the rebooted broodiness we all know and fear today.

ORIGIN OF THE GUEST-STARS
This documentary is pretty freakin’ awesome! Anyone who’s watched any amount of TV in their lives knows the drawing power of the special surprise guest star. The original Super-Friends roster included only a few of your DC favorites; Superman, Batman & Robin, Wonder Woman, and Aquaman. Now absent from other Super-Friends seasons were your other, lesser favorites who now get their chance to shine on the screen in dream team-up segments including The Atom! Hawkman & Hawkgirl! Green Lantern! And, uh… Rima, everyone’s favorite Jungle Girl! “Who?” you ask… exactly…
I also enjoyed these guys gloss over the pussification of the Green Lantern, from tough-as-nails-martini-drinking-ladies-man portrayed in the comics, to some dude with a darker skin tone who makes novelty boxing gloves with his little magic ring for the cartoon.

There’s no comparing classic Saturday morning cartoons to their late-20th/21st Century counterparts, both have their strengths and weaknesses; classics like this one have poor animation and simple-minded storylines, whereas new cartoons have poor animation… and simple-mind—um, wait a second… in over 30 years of cartooning, have we really not progressed any further than this? In one of the documentaries they reference Bruce Timm’s animated Batman series, which was revolutionary in its time… and that time has already passed. Only a handful of those episodes were well animated and had riveting storytelling, and unfortunately even less than that had both! Cartoons such as these fine classics which Hanna-Barbera have to offer win hands down for the pure and simple reason that back then TV executives had to treat everything with kid’s gloves pretty much against their wills, and even that isn’t saying much, but when I hear present-day producers Paul Dini and Bruce Timm blow-hardedly go on and on about how dark and gritty they made Batman for a new generation, I feel like punching them in the gut. How can seasoned professionals who claim to have unconditional love for these characters still not deliver on their promises? I’ll spare you any further ranting but I could go on for hours on this subject… by no stretch of the imagination am I a cartoon historian or an authority on the matter, but I am a fan and I know what I like.

Movie rating – 2.5

Disc Rating – 3