You’ll Like My Mother: Bronstein Lets Us Feel the Byrne
Motherhood approaches the verge of the horrific in If I Had Legs I’d Kick You, the irrepressibly stressful sophomore film from director Mary Bronstein. A spot-on ensemble led by Rose Byrne (also serving as executive producer) enlivens what could have simply been a familiar quirky comedy but instead hurls itself into the mire. Strangely, it’s a film which is both jarring and charming, even when it’s unclear if any of these characters are actually likable. But, in essence, it’s what happens when we see behind the curtains of most peoples’ lives on most days.
Linda (Byrne) seems destined for a nervous breakdown. Her preadolescent daughter (Delaney Quinn) suffers from a disorder requiring her to stay plugged into a feeding tube, which keeps her out of school. However, the program administering care for her child has outlined a plan which requires an exceptional weight gain over a short time frame so they can remove the tube. If the weight goal is not met, Linda is told they will need to ‘reassess the care plan,’ which seems intended to sound threatening. Meanwhile, the ceiling in her apartment has literally caved in, forcing her to move into a hotel, which stretches on for weeks due to various delays for repair by the landlord. Her husband’s occupation has required he be elsewhere for a matter of months, leaving Linda to care for their kid by herself while also managing her caseload as a therapist. Luckily, she also sees a therapist, her colleague (Conan O’Brien) who works down the hall. But it seems he might also be at the end of his rope with Linda. James (A$AP Rocky), a handsome, kindly neighbor at the hotel takes an interest in Linda, though theirs promises to be a friendship of bad influences on one another.
While Byrne has elevated many a film project, she’s addictive to observe as Linda, a frazzled live-wire who feels like Sylvia Plath on uppers. One could actually see Linda writing something akin to Plath’s sentiments, “I am capable of affection for those who reflect my own world.” Her unnamed child is certainly not a reflection of this world, which has suddenly become impossibly chaotic, exceptionally enhanced by DP Christopher Messina, who is often framing Linda in such extreme close-ups we’re about to meld with her. Curiously, her child is almost entirely offscreen (until one choice moment), merely the constant source of noises and need which allows us to comprehend what Linda’s feelings are for the kid.
There’s been a plethora of recent films dealing with the psychological fray of motherhood when women are expected to shoulder the brunt of required emotional labor without ever showing any cracks, and Bronstein’s film feels as if it’s in spiritual tandem with the Amy Adams led Nightbitch (2024). But this is a film which feels like a screwball comedy of errors in one breath then jumps into Kafkaesque trauma the next. While Linda makes plenty of questionable choices, she’s also a high-functioning whatever, and thus we’re lulled into a sense of comfort as concerns her increasingly desperate self-medicating. This does allow for an amusing relationship with her hotel neighbor James, played by a quite charming A$AP Rocky, a young man who is curious about Linda and recognizes shared interests in substances they seek on the dark web (which she obviously offers to pay for with a credit card).
While the child’s exact condition isn’t explained, it metaphorically aligns with the other major hole which has punctured its way into their lives and indefinitely disrupted them. As if a literal abyss has opened, Linda (aided by wine and marijuana) seems to be utilizing the essence of this hole in the ceiling to drift into an abyss, which leads to some startling moments rightly described as body horror (not to mention a terrified hamster who meets a tragic but perhaps lucky demise considering its alternative living option).
Other major players in the cast include Conan O’Brien, in his first dramatic role, who shares an uncomfortably contentious rapport as Linda’s therapist/colleague. His proximity to her makes him the obvious conduit of her distress, but it’s curious to see Linda act out in ways she knows are futile. Christian Slater makes a surprise, overdue appearance as an integral character, while Danielle Macdonald, a young mother going through a similar emotional rough patch, is a catalyzing side character whose presence feels justified, if underdeveloped.
At times startlingly funny, If I Had Legs I’d Kick You is arguably familiar in scope. But for all its dysfunctions, discomfort and disrepair, it’s also relieving in its relatability to how exhausting it can be when you’re actually living through the experience of ‘rolling with the punches.’
Reviewed on February 17th at the 2025 Berlin International Film Festival (75th edition) – Main Competition. 113 mins
★★★½/☆☆☆☆☆
