Valhalla Rising | DVD Review

With a title like Valhalla Rising and the ultra-violence – and frequent full frontal nudity – of writer/director Nicolas Winding Refn’s previous film, Bronson, it’s understandable that viewers might be expecting an all-out bloody Viking war epic – or even a documentary about Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre’s proclivity for sending improper images of himself over the cellular airwaves. But alas, neither of those scenarios play out in this film; what starts out as a promisingly violent and giddily gory historical epic quickly devolves into scene after scene of navel-gazing philosophical ruminations that are more akin to the most confusing episodes of TV’s Lost than they are to the Scandinavian battle scenes of films like Robert Zemeckis’ Beowulf and John McTiernan’s The 13th Warrior.

Valhalla Rising concerns One-Eye (guess how he got that name), a mute warrior who has been held enslaved by a ruthless chieftain who uses him as a gladiator-style fighter for his own entertainment. After a few of these fight scenes and a rather improbable – yet still impressively gruesome – escape, One-Eye (Mads Mikkelsen, Coco Chanel & Igor Stravinsky, Le Chiffre from Casino Royale) heads out on his own with the sole survivor of his brutal escape, a young boy named Are (newcomer Maarten Stevenson), in tow. The two soon meet up with a group of Christians who want to cross the seas and join the Crusades, but the ship becomes overrun by an endless (boy, is it endless!) fog. When the fog eventually lifts, they are shocked to see a mountainous, forested land (they were expecting dry deserts, a-la-Jerusalem) and they disembark to explore it and claim it in the name of Christianity. While this may make it seem like a lot happens in the film, it really doesn’t. The scene on the boat is way too long for what it is, although it does allow the viewer to get an idea of One-Eye’s opinion of his new traveling companions, even though he never says a word.

Indeed, Mikkelson’s performance as the ocularly-disfigured ‘hero’ is the best thing about Valhalla Rising. Equal parts menacing, brutal, and thoughtful, he manages to convey more emotion and meaning than all of the actors with speaking roles in the film combined. The real problem with Valhalla Rising is that there are far too many long build-up scenes that eventually lead nowhere, leaving the viewer scratching his or her head wondering, ‘what the hell was I waiting for?’. In one of these too-long scenes, the group is hiking up a mountain with the music rising in intensity (brilliant score by Peter Peter and Peter Kyed, by the way), the tension near palpable as they reach the top of the hill, and……cut to a scene of the group sitting atop the mountain, looking off into the distance, none the worse for wear. There are just too many of these types of scenes for Valhalla Rising to really be considered a cohesive piece of film-making, unfortunately…

…which isn’t to say that Valhalla Rising is not presented beautifully on DVD, though. Winding Refn, despite the inclination to over-do every scene no matter how long-winded the outcome is, shows a deft hand at catching the gritty and dreary atmosphere of One-Eye’s pre-freedom days and at ever-so-slightly lightening up the grittiness and dreariness as the film moves on. And, as mentioned, the score is brilliant, even though there wasn’t a whole lot of narrative action to match its intensity. The coupling of the at-times aggressive music and the weirdness of the story is somewhat reminiscent of Jim Jarmusch’s Dead Man, with its excellent guitar score by Neil Young. There’s only one special feature included on this disc from E1 Entertainment, and it’s a pretty good one, actually:

The Making of Valhalla Rising
This roughly-23-minute mini-documentary is actually more of a production diary by one of the assistant directors (there were five of them!) interspersed with some interview footage with Nicolas Winding Refn. It’s a light and airy little featurette that’s actually quite fun, especially when compared to the dark tone of the film itself. Plus, it’s fun to see Mikkelson try and plant a decapitated head onto a spike and into the ground, only to have the head fall off the spike and roll to his feet. After sitting through 90-plus minutes of him pouting and leering, it’s great to finally see him smile.

Mads Mikkelson’s One-Eye may well be one of the best mute performances in a film, ever. But even that is not enough to save Valhalla Rising from falling flat. If Jim Jarmusch’s weirdest films and Lost (from the middle of season three onward, anyway) are your cup of tea, then you may be able to get something out of Valhalla Rising. For anyone else, especially those expecting to see Brett Favre fell Erik the Viking with his broad sword, ‘proceed with caution’ is the best advice we can give.

Movie rating – 2

Disc Rating – 2.5