Werner Herzog is bulletproof

German writer-director Werner Herzog, who’s documentary Grizzly Man was touted as the cream of the crop at the Sundance Film Festival last year, was shot during an interview with the BBC’s Mark Kermode by a sniper with an air rifle. His reaction? ‘Oh, someone is shooting at us. We must go.’ It gets better. Kermode said afterwards ‘He had a bruise the size of a snooker ball, with a hole in it. He just carried on with the interview while bleeding quietly in his boxer shorts.’ Even better is Herzog’s comment ‘It was not a significant bullet. I was not afraid.’

Sister Mary Francis!!! My knees buckle at the mere high-pitch droning sound of a freakin’ cicada on a balmy summer afternoon!!! This guy’s deflecting bullets with his TEETH!!!

As you may or may not recall, The Great Herzog was also the first person at the scene to rescue Joaquin Phoenix (Walk the Line) when his car rolled over on the Sunset Strip a few weeks ago. Said Phoenix after the crash “There was this German voice saying ‘Just relax’. There’s the airbag, I can’t see and I’m saying ‘I’m fine. I am relaxed.’ Finally, I rolled down the window and this head pops inside. And he said ‘No, you’re not.’ And suddenly I said to myself ‘That’s Werner Herzog.’ There’s something so calming and beautiful about Werner Herzog’s voice.’

If I ever have children, this will be their bedtime story. Hell, I’m pretty sure if Phoenix had died in that crash, Herzog would have simply flown circles around the Earth in a blind rage at unheard of speeds, thus reversing time and preventing the accident from ever happening. You can’t expect any less from a man who once ate a shoe and worked with Klaus Kinski.

Herzog’s next project stars Christian Bale (The Machinist) and is titled Rescue Dawn, it will be about a US fighter pilot who gets shot down during the Vietnam War.